Rise and Possibly Fall of the Slutty Halloween Costume:

Have We Finally Gone Too Far?

It's that time of year again! Whorenado Watch 2012 is on! That's right, Halloween is just around the corner and for every little boy out there trying to decide whether he should be Ironman, Captain America, or Thor (because let's face it, they don't want to be Hawkeye); there is a girl between 16 and 35 trying to figure out how to fashion a costume out of two strips of material and a few bra hooks.  Wait, just a hot minute there!  This is NOT a diatribe about how as women, we should be more modest in our Halloween efforts.  Oh, hell no.  This being an election year and all, you should know that I am PRO-Slutty Halloween Costume.  I run on a platform of thigh-highs, high heels and Jersey hair (Emily Bachovin knows about the Jersey hair).  That being said-- Have we gone too far? Have we surpassed fun-slutty for the truly tasteless? 

Let's examine this further, with the aide of pictures--

Halloween 2007

Me

Tap House Toga Night

Well, those are two of the costumes from my past.  Not overly slutty, but then I'm not one blessed with the body to rock to Super Slut costumes that are out there.  With that, please allow me to present some of The Best I've seen in Slutty Costumes:

Slutty Storm Trooper?                             Slutty Robin?                                           Slutty Alice?                          

            

Slutty Banana?

None of these are so horrible and I'm sorry, but the banana just made me audibly giggle in the middle of a Starbucks while typing this.  Girls, if you don't live in or go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, Halloween is your chance to whore it up.  Let your freak flag fly if you must, but let's see some imagination.  If you're going to be a slut--don't go with something that you'll see while you're out.  What I mean is-- Slutty Cat-witch-nurse-devil have been done! If you show up like that, you're going to look like just one of a whore herd. There'll  be dozens of people like you! Get creative or you'll only be lost in all the noise and left behind like Candy Corn in the mixed bowl of the holiday.

So, this year, I've had to ask--Have we gone too far?

What you are about to see is the evidence that we have in fact gone too damn far...

What the F*&^ was that?  Yeah, that's right...Slutty Sesame Street.  Mother of God, why? WHY?  

Okay, I get the appeal of the costumes mentioned earlier, but what guy in his right mind looks at a woman in an Ernie costume and thinks, "Daaaaammmnnn, I'm bangin' Ernie TOnight!"  No one, ladies! No man does that because it's just not right! Big Bird taught you that one of these things is not like that other--one of these things are different.  Big Bird is not who he wants to wake up next to! 

Some of you may think that maybe I'm not being fair and to that I say, "You can shove it."  I'm a big fan of Sesame Street since I grew up near Sesame Place (which is dedicated to the beloved PBS Show) and while I want them to make as much money as possible--(insert sentence which tells Mitt he can suck it too), we need reasonable limits! This is messing with my childhood!  Also, it's just weird.  If you dressed up as a non-slutty Street character, you'd get a laugh and most likely a few free drinks, but in this forum--it's just wrong. 

Awesoemly Funny Version

 

To review:

It's okay to go all out for Halloween, but don't scar anyone's childhood memories.  Also, Please remember that there are plenty of characters who are slutty enough as is and should not be overlooked:

Case in point:

Harley Quinn                          Princess Lea                                              Princess Jasmine

Chun Lee (Street Fighter)                     Storm (X-Men)

Ariel: The Little Mermaid

Trust me, these are good options are are more alluring than dressing up as Elmo in a red push-up bra.  Ask any straight man if he ever wanted to nail Ariel--the answer is yes.  Weirdos.  

Well, that's enough ranting for my night--I have my own costume to finish and it's somewhere in the middle. Sally of The Nightmare Before Christmas.  There will be pictures I'm sure. Happy Whoring!