Welcome to the Funky Bunch: How Mark Wahlberg Brings People Together...

Annyong!  Over the weekend I did something I haven't done in ages.  I selfishly requested a weekend off for no other reason than to watch college and professional football.  Yeah, I'm that girl.  No, I don't apologize for it.  The topic of Walhberg brothers came up while I was at Casa del Schaefer. UM was getting an ass whooping at the hands of The Irish and conversation turned to Mila Kunis' lack of an ass and guys she's in movies with... BOOM! Mark Walhberg circa Ted.

I have to start off by saying one thing here-- I am deeply saddened when people mention Mark Wahlberg and  don't really know the vast and influential history that is goes with that name alone.  Now, people in my own age bracket really don't do this, but this younger generation worries me.  These are the same kids who not only got medals and trophies simply for participating (which is worrisome enough), but they are also the kids who think The Parent Trap is a Lindsay Lohan movie! It gives me so little hope for the future.  These are the kids that don't know about The Funky Bunch!  I mean, how do you not know about the early years of Marky Mark when he had his own bunch of funksters?  

Case in point:

Ladies, we all remember when we saw this video.  I don't care how old you were, you were like Daaaaaaaaammmmmnnnn.  Admit it, you still are.  

That being said, if you didn't know about this video, then you wouldn't understand the hilarity of Stranz Van Waldenberg saying "Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark, we let down the Funky Bunch." in Blades of Glory.

If you don't know about the Funky Bunch, do you know of the pop royalty that calls itself big brother to Marky Mark?  How could you? I mean, Donnie Walhberg was what was up when I was 8.  He and the other New Kids on The Block that is. Now, as the host of this gathering said, "He wasn't even good enough to be a New Kid then!" I know you're expecting a rash of NKOTB puns and jokes--and who am I to disappoint? 

"He just didn't have the right stuff!" I yelled and quickly followed up with, "Maybe he couldn't hang tough then?"  I know what you're thinking, Really? You all laughed at this?  Hell yes, we did.  I love a good pun and my friends are always open to a stupid joke.  

Naturally, this led to a debate of the other things that this younger generation of kids who weren't spanked probably didn't know about Marky Mark--

• Most are too young to have seen him as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights (although you never know nowadays)
• Big Brother Donnie is the emaciated guy who killed Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense.
• He play Vincent Papale (which maybe only people in Philly care about, but dammit I love sports movies!)
• He was not only in The Departed, but stole the movie from a cast including Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio and, oh yeah, Jack F*%#ing Nicholson!  (Special thanks to Chris for assigning The Departed as homework when we worked together.)
• He was the only good thing about The Happening.

So, yes, youngsters, Mark Walhberg was in Ted ( and absolutely hysterical).  And yes, he still looks darn good, but you're really missing out if you're not down with the Funky Bunch.  I think it's safe to say that after all these years, he's got the right stuff--no pun intended--well, maybe a little bit.